Keep Your Opinions to Yourself!

Recently Little Man and I had to take a trip to the post office.  I can't stand the post office!  Unfortunately, I sold some stuff on eBay and then my printer decided it hated me so I couldn't print the shipping labels.  Hence the need to visit the post office.

Little Man and I enter the post office and I remember why I don't like going there.  Only one person is working, 5 people are in line and it is dead silent, or at least it was silent until I entered with a 2 year old.

I needed to fill out forms and get a flat rate box for one order. 

Little Man decided to fill the silence with a little singing.  Really what's more fun when you're two than singing loudly in a room that echos. 

I hushed him but he told me "Mommy, I'm singing!"  I thought about it and decided that the post office could use a little cheer.

We stand in line longer.

Little man starts his rendition of Veggietales "If. You. Like. To. Talk. To. Amatoes! If a smile! I got a show for you! Buddy Tales, Buddy Tales, Buddy Tales!"

He sang really loud so I hushed Little Man again.  I didn't care if he sang I just didn't want him to yell.  He quieted down and continued to sing.  

Eventually we made it to the counter when I hear a lady talking.  Since up until this point the only person who has made any noise is Little Man I turn around.

A lady, who is wearing a matching track suit with her 9 year old daughter, is looking at an old lady and explaining that you don't know the situation and sometimes you can't spank a child.  What if he is a foster kid?

Suddenly I realize that this lady is defending me to the old lady! 

Old Lady:  Well in my day you took a kid outside and spanked them when they didn't listen.

Lady in Track Suit:  Well you don't know her situation.

Old Lady:  I don't care kids these days need to obey their parents.

Me to the lady behind the counter: Laughing.  Well now I'm just going to let him sing. :) I proceed to ignore Little Man while they argue

Lady behind the counter: puzzled expression. Do you want shipping confirmation?

I paid for my packages and left laughing. 

I wanted to tell the old lady that he was a foster kid or that he had some sort of disorder to make her feel bad.  Instead I ignored her completely.

Really, I never told Little Man to stop just to hush.  Even if he had been doing something wrong there is no way I would have gotten out of line to spank him.  If I did that I would have been at the post office for years!  

Old lady there are no rules about not singing in the post office.  Believe me I'm a rule follower.

Lady in the track suit thanks for helping a momma out!

Peanuts

Little Man is a Blue's Clues addict. 

Most of his Blue's Clues are on VHS, mostly because I'm cheap and I can buy them at garage sales for $0.50 but also because it is hard to find Blue's Clues DVDs.  Nearly every Blue's Clues tape he owns (about 12) has a commercial for Peanuts movies in the beginning.  You know, Charlie Brown and Snoopy.  The ads are a few minutes long with a catchy tune and have brainwashed my son in to thinking he loves Peanuts.

After a few weeks with his Blue's clues videos Little Man points to the TV and says Peanuts dog, meaning Snoopy.  Except he didn't say the "t."   If you haven't already try saying peanuts with out the t.  That's right Little man was saying penis dog.  Awesome.

Since changing a 2 year old's mind works so well I tried to split up the word pea nuts.  He said it and I thought all was well.  Nope.  He keeps talking about penis dog.

Since my sister in law is amazing I told her about the way Little Man says peanuts and she laughed.  Considering his affinity for corn (porn as he calls it) she couldn't resist making Little Man say peanuts.  She even brought corn to dinner just so Little Man would say I love porn.

Fast forward one week:

So there we are on a street in from of a wing place and my fabulous sister in law is trying to record my son telling him to say peanuts and corn.  Penis porn he says smiling.  Luckily for Little Man's future the video didn't come out.  

My sister in law made an impression though and now, weeks later, he randomly says penis porn.  Luckily even our pastor finds it funny.

Porn in the produce aisle

It's not what your thinking.  This post isn't about naked people so get your mind out of the gutter! :)

Little Man is 2 and though he can make the c and k sounds he for some reason calls corn porn.  I'm not sure why he does it but no matter how I try he continues.

A few weeks ago Little Man and I had a fun adventure at the grocery store.

While walking through the produce section Little Man spies the corn. He starts yelling "porn, porn, porn!"  Now the little old ladies are staring at me with disgust.  Apparently they weren't looking for porn in the produce aisle.

We continue shopping and awhile latter Little Man remembers that we didn't get any corn and proceeds to yell at me "I wan Porn!"  Meanwhile a guy in his twenties is trying not to laugh while he picked out his cereal.  I plead with Little Man telling him that we have CORN at home.  Making sure the emphasize corn for everyone around.  Now the moms around me are smiling.  They've been here before.

We make it to the freezer section with no more talk of porn.  Unfortunately, I buy frozen corn fairly often and Little Man knows this.  He starts crying out, "I wan porn. I wan porn, I wan PORN!"  Now people are staring.  I sternly tell Little Man, "no, no porn, we have porn at home." Wait. What?  Yep, now I'm saying porn and lots of people are staring.  Moms are quickly pushing their carts away from the freezer section and these porn addicts.

Quickly I try to recover, " no not porn, its corn, CORN."  It's too late.  Everyone already thinks my son wants porn.

Oh well.  At least my kid eats fruits and vegetables, even if he does call corn porn.

That's the life of a mom.