Don't do it!

I love Ikea.  Enough so that I was willing to drive 3 hours to the one in Houston on several occasions before they built one a mere 1 and a half hours away.  I even drove there with my crazy old neighbor once, but that's a different post.

Since I was going to a party relatively near Ikea today I just had to stop by.

I pull into the parking lot and it is packed.  No problem I tell myself.  I mean really Ikea is a huge store.  We park fairly quickly and head for a cart.  Little man is still too small for their small town kids area so I put him in the cart.

I step inside the store and literally cannot walk.  There are people everywhere.  I love too people watch and if you read my last post you know that I can hear what others are thinking so this surely would be fun for me.  I started walking and suddenly felt like I was stuck in a rip tide.  I had to keep walking at the right speed.  Too fast and I hit the man in front of me.  He was obviously dragged there with his wife and was thinking save me from this torture.  I slowed down a little to check out a TV stand and the lady behind me looked at me like I had just beat her child.  Quickly I got out of the way and hid by some chairs for protection.

Eventually the crowd cleared and I continued on my way.  There were lost of couples designing and arguing over their dream rooms.  Most of the men were trying to find a chair in every area.  My favorite was all of the soon to be college students with their parents.

One mom and daughter were trying to figure out if a 12 inch platter was supposed to be a regular plate.
Mom:  Oh look at this plate. (holds it up)
Daughter:  That's glass.
Mom: No it's plastic.
Daughter:  That's a huge plate.  You want me to get fat?
Mom:  I don't think it's a plate but it's cute.
Daughter:  Mom, it's a plate and I'm NOT getting fat in college.
Mom:  You won't get fat and it's not a plate.
Daughter: ugh, mom. ugh. (storms off)

By the way, it was a tray and plastic.  I saw them a few minute later while the mom was trying to convince her daughter that she would need a toilet brush for her toilet.

I love people.

We headed towards the kids room area and little man got out of the cart to play.  He loved the slide but $149 is way too much for me.  Many couples were trying to decide which room set would "grow" with their child.  One pregnant couple decided that a princess theme would be best because a girl will always want to be a princess.  I have a feeling they will end up with a tomboy. ;)

Next was food.  Kids eat free at Ikea this month and I love Swedish meatballs so this was perfect.  It was packed but since it was $3 something for the two of us I didn't care.  We ended up sitting in the kids area which meant I sat in a wobbly kids chair about 1 foot off the ground.  There was a man doing it so I figured the chair would hold me.  Surprisingly I didn't fall.  I ate quick, put little man's leftovers in a box for him to eat in the cart and continued on my way.  We finished shopping and left with little incident.

I love Ikea buy there was way too many people. I highly recommend NOT going on Saturday.  I love people but it was even a little much for me.  Not nearly as fun and relaxing as most of my trips.

I hear what you are thinking

I can hear what people are thinking.  Not the crazy I hear voices kind of way but more like I make up what people are really saying or not saying when they are around me and I believe it to be true.

Take Thursday.

I go to target for the second time because the first time I forgot my coupons and I am that cheap.  I noticed my favorite cashier Zachary.  Again yes, I go to Target enough to have a favorite cashier.  His line has two people in it.  I notice the cashier next to him has no one in their lane and she is eying everyone who walks bye.

We made eye contact. Now I couldn't just ignore the fact that her lane was empty and go to the one I want.  Plus, I didn't want to look crazy when she surely would call me over to her lane by saying "no I want to stand in this long line instead of not waiting."

In order to avoid the situation I pretended to look at the DVD's near the checkout lanes.  I saw her watching me.  She was thinking look at the weird chick who is wondering awkwardly.  I think she is shoplifting.  Maybe she'll shove a DVD in her kids pocket along with the 6 cars he has in there.

Maybe that's not what she was thinking, but that's what I heard.

Eventually I make my way to my desired line trying to look at the overpriced candy and ignore the fact that I stood in a line when there were now 2 other empty lanes.

My son decided at this point that he would start roaring like a lion.  Only he sounds like a pirate lion and says Arrrr! instead.  As Zachary is scanning my items and I look for my coupon in my purse I notice the girl checker looking at me and thinking I stole something.  I can hear her glare now.  Trying to avoid eye contact with the girl in the next lane I pull out my coupons.

Then Zachary says " I thought he was going to eat me." I looked at him trying to process what was happening and he busts out laughing at me  and the dumbfounded look on my face.  Now I'm being accused of shoplifting in one girl's mind and Zachary thinks my son is going to eat him.  Fabulous.

At least Zachary tells me the crazy things he's thinking so I don't have to make them up myself.  He thinks he's funny and never denies a coupon.  That's why he's my favorite by the way.

That's my life.  I did get 28 socks, nail polish remover, and a Blues clues DVD for $8 though.